Tuesday, January 29, 2013

a story: part one of part one


a story.
part one.

A screaming train and a crying gutter makes for an interesting walk home. It’s shitty outside and i like to think there’s a god upstairs crying about his/her/yeah car breaking down or it/he/she/whatever’s lover left or something. It’s a nice sad night. Even though it’s only today and it isn’t yesterday or tomorrow, it feels like forever. Life is really long. My feet are wet – my face is too.

            Sometimes when im walking i like to stare at puddles. It’s a nice world in there. Everything is warped and shaky and it just looks so inviting. Everything pulses with sound of the beating earth. It’s cool. And sometimes, when i walk, i think about jumping into the puddle and falling down into that world but when i do i keep falling and i don’t get to lie on the wobbly earth. Instead, i get to fall into space and watch the pulsing earth float up and evaporate into my head and come out of my eyeballs. Oh, im home.

            The lights are off so i turn them on and suddenly divinity is kind of in my hands i guess. Let there be light. The floor is soaked but i am too so at least i can empathize. The lights are off all over my dwelling. i give up on turning on the lights. Bumping around in the dark is fun until you stub your toe. You can’t stub your toe if you don’t walk so i don’t walk and instead i sit and i don’t move for what feels like a million years and i sit there defeated thinking about the things i don’t want to write down.

            sometimes i like to walk instead of take the bus so i can spare people getting close to me and even though that is probably a lie i still can’t shake the thought

            It’s a weird feeling, in the dark forever. What if i never saw light again. Darkness. Darn. Uh, yeah.

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