A Story Part Four

Chapter 4

            I wake up (even though i wasn’t really sleeping) and i'm staring at the girl laying in the other half of my/our bed. Something inside of me makes me want to throw something at her face, not to hurt her or whatever, but just for something to do. Plus, i don’t want to be walking around my room with her asleep. If i do, i’ll feel like a rapist or something. I always feel like people are afraid i’ll rape them or something. When i think about that, i feel like a rapist. It’s weird.

            The kitchen looks the same as it did before that goldfish ate me, which is good if you’re into object permanence and all that jazz. Permanence. Illumination, but like, in my brain. It’s always in my brain. The fridge makes a stupid noise when i open it and the light is burnt out. Apathetically, i root through it like a shit-eating raccoon. Eggs look good. They expire in a few days and only one is missing (because i dropped it on the floor in a bout of ambition). Eggs.

            I clasp the egg in my hand and i make a fist, shattering the whole thing (shell and all) into a bowl. The latter half of the hour is spent picking shells out of the yolk. These will be good eggs. I will bring her good eggs, even though she’s a figment of my imagination probably. We’re all figments of each-other’s collective imaginations, i think. Subjectivity is weird like that.

Well shit.

            I bring her the eggs. She’s asleep, snoring. The eggs are getting cold. Wake her up you asshole. I try to think of how to wake her but i’m not sure how to do it without being a jerk-off. Plug her nose. A feeling sets in my stomach telling me that if i do that she’ll die maybe. I’ll plug her nose so hard she evaporates. I think about throwing one-hundred dollars at her face. My wallet is empty so instead i attempt to sound like the outside, accept with max-volume. I will wake her with max-volume.

            Deep breath. Coughing, i make a failed attempt to sound like a train-going by. She wakes up. “Why are you being a train?” She’s rubbing her face. I remember there aren’t even any train tracks nearby. City-planner of the year. I sort of stare at her for a bit.

            “I made you food so you won’t die,” i say. She smiles.

            “I’m a vegan, but i also don’t exist, so it’s probably okay for me to eat those,” and she does. She eats these (sort of) cold eggs.

            “So, do you want to go see a movie, at like the theatre or whatever?” She’s picking an eggshell out of her teeth. For a minute, it almost looks like she’s pulling teeth out of her mouth and it freaks me out. Auto-dentistry. “Sorry about the eggshell(s),” i say.

            We take a canal route to the movie theatre because it sounds like route canal and my brain is homogonous. There’s no one working at the theatre anymore because of capitalism. However, i still talk to the ticket-dispenser like it’s a person when i’m buying my ticket so i don’t feel lonely or something stupid.

            The words, what movie would you like to see? scroll across the screen.

            “Uh, surprise me,” i say clicking its face/brain. Two tickets for a random movie no one particularly wants to see in particular, specifically.

            When we enter the theatre it’s pretty empty and the lights are already off. We go and sit at the back because whatever, and the movie winds up. Before the film starts there’s a commercial of some guy being proud because he has a car or something. Then there are like forty shots of this car zooming around corners and mountains at a speed that is probably illegal. Zoom.

Next up there’s this ad that i’m in and there’s this girl who’s in focus at a party i probably would never go to. “Hey,” i say and she sniffs and she walks away and my shirt has arm-pit stains or something. There’s a quick shot of an armpit getting molested by some deodorant stick and next there’s like fifty girls all over me being all sexy or whatever and it’s kind of gross. I feel really shitty about the whole commercial. I feel shitty about wanting deodorant.

Well shit.

Then the movie starts and i realize i am uncomfortable and i want to leave. Some stupid over-produced “indie” song comes on and i am standing at a funeral feeling like shit and i check my phone like forty times and there isn’t anything on it. After the funeral i get dropped off at a bus terminal so i can leave a city and it’s really late and i can see baggage forming inside of my eye-lids. Baggage; Carry-ons.

As i’m walking over to a line-up (for the bus) my thoughts are on the walls in scratchy handwriting. There is a girl in the line in front of me and she has a portion of her white/purple hair shaved and it looks good and then the movie shows a bunch of conversations that’ll happen between this lady and myself. We buy moon-shoes and we hop around like assholes trying to do slam-dunks so we can win a hover car. We win the hover car. We drive the hover car. We hold hands. It’s nice.

Instead, nothing happens and we just get on the bus and i sit behind her and my tired, sad brain is thinking of things to say but i’m too lazy/tired to open my mouth.

The seat next to her is empty.

I don’t sit there.

The seat next to me is empty.

Who cares.

Feel like shit.

Some other dude sits beside her and immediately they hit it off talking about a bunch of things. “Yeah dogs are great. I mean cats are cool, but dogs can play fetch and shit.” The rest of the movie is me watching their love story unfold while i pretend to play on my phone that died halfway through our five hour bus ride. The bus ride ends and then there is a montage of me checking my phone (spoiler alert the phone is empty) for like two months. I ride my bike past a park and in the park they’re getting married in moon-shoes.

Credits roll.

My roomdate is looking at me. “What did you think of the movie?”

Before i can answer a fire-alarm goes off and the building is all flames. We wade through some smoke. She coughs an eggshell as we stare at the building from the outside. It burns brightly, illuminating the streets and junk. The goldfish flies over it and it fans the fire out spewing black fog from its gills. The sky looked overcast, which is weird because i felt pretty overcast. Well shit.

“Yeah it kind of sucked.”